Tips for Partner Support in Labor
If this were the 1950s we would not even be having this conversation, but gone are the days of men sipping Brandy and smoking cigars while they wait for their child to be born. I’m sorry partners, but evidence shows a major positive impact partners have on the birthing mother when being present in the space and even more so when the partner has tools to help her cope.
Here you will find, in no certain order, tips and tools to support the laboring mother so you no longer have to feel like a lost bystander.
Learning about the process of pregnancy, labor, and birth by joining your partner in a birth class
This may sound boring or useless since you will not be the one birthing, but understanding the process and knowing better what she is going through will help you better support her overall. This will help her feel less stressed and less alone as she navigates this new chapter in her life. You will likely learn important skills in these classes such as advocating and physical comfort measures to be applied in labor like hip squeezes. She will be swooning over your new skills and feel like she has tools to help her cope through the physical sensations. Win win!
Positive touch both in pregnancy and labor
Positive touch baths the person’s brain in the love and happy hormones of serotonin and oxytocin. All the hormones produced in the woman’s body go the babies body since they are sharing that space. This should be motivating to want to help both the mother and baby to feel loved and calm during her pregnancy and especially during labor. This can be done with a gentle hand hold, light touches to the arm or shoulder, hugs and cuddles, or our favorite light tough massage.
Involve yourself in the planning of the birth
Although birth cannot be entirely controlled it’s important to make plans around the choices and options that you all prefer as a family. The birthing mother is most likely going to have preferences around what she hopes for in her labor and birth. It’s important the partner knows all of this too so they can appropriately advocate for her while she in labor. This will help give her confidence and ease her mind knowing you can speak up for her during the birth of your child.
Be there, be present
This seems obvious but being present for her in pregnancy and certainly in labor will be a huge win for the both of you. Both pregnancy and labor can make women feel vulnerable. So it’s safe to say having the present support of the person they love and trust the most can help them through this emotional discomfort. Women need to feel safe in labor to have more efficient and effective contractions. If she feels safe and her body can do it’s job, her labor can work more quickly for her. Once again, this benefiting the both of as you get to meet your baby sooner.
Bond together
Once baby has arrived you can help the bonding by continuing to be right there. Baby is typically always going to be placed with the birthing mother after their arrival but this doesn’t mean the partner can’t still bond with them. If baby is on mother’s chest, partner takes and places their warm hand on top of baby’s back to help keep baby warm. When baby needs to feed, help mother remove clothing to get to breast. If mother is in recovery after birth and baby with partner, remove shirt and give baby the skin to skin they so desperately need while they wait for mom. Once home and navigating feeding, changing, sleep, always assist with diaper changes before baby is placed to breast or help prepare the formula and bottle for mom and baby before the feed. All of these tiny gestures help overall with the family bonding and will help the birthing mother feel more supported during her fluctuation of hormones and baby blues period.
These are all simple ways to be a great and wonderful support to your pregnant, laboring, and postpartum partner. We teach all of these and more in our classes to all the amazing partners and see such a huge change and difference in their confidence once they’ve completed our classes.
If you’re wondering what Hypnobirthing is or where you can take a class, check our website for dates and class types. We teach in person and virtual classes all over the Metro-Detroit area.