Owner Ashley and her second hypnobirthed baby Jude

I finally got around to writing Jude’s birth story almost a year after her birth. I wrote this as if I was writing to her so she can enjoy it one day as well. This was a really fast birth and hit me by surprise. I have always home birthed which works for me and my family and this was a really special birth for me. Please enjoy.

“You were my second pregnancy so naturally I had expectations that were to be like my first. Your brother came relatively early for a first-time mom at 38 weeks and 1 day. As that time was approaching, I had high hopes you would go before or definitely by then. I struggled through your pregnancy and had so many pains and difficulty sleeping, I was ready to get you out and meet you. Plus, we didn’t know who you were, girl or boy.

As I went over 38 weeks, day 1, day 2, day 3, I began to get really anxious and impatient. I thought for sure you would be coming at any moment. Every little thing that could be labor I thought was labor, but then it wasn’t. So, I decided to start ignoring signs to not be disappointed.

I had been losing small chunks of my mucous plug but I knew that didn’t mean much. I decided to see if I could help move things along a bit and used my breast pump for a few minutes two nights in a row. It did give me some small contractions but nothing major.

After using my pump on a Thursday night and feeling a bit crampy I decided to take my bath and head to bed. I slept ok until about 1am and woke to some really uncomfortable cramps. I walked around a bit and was in and out of bed but didn’t think anything of this. I literally didn’t sleep from 24 weeks on with you so this felt rather normal other than the cramping sensations.

After not getting any sleep and feeling fine that following Friday I again was disappointed. Later that day I felt a little wet, like more than your typical pregnant lady wet, and wondered if I was maybe leaking amniotic fluid. I let my midwives know and Melissa said she could stop by and give me some test strips to test the fluid. She stayed with me as I tested but they didn’t change any color, bummed again. She did, however, mention that on that day I did look particularly “ripe”. That made me feel excited but I also didn’t want to get my hopes up.

After Melissa left Joe made us all dinner and I was feeling a lot crampier again. I laid on the couch to let them pass and Julian was all over me. He was so extra cuddly and sweet. I remember now hearing from someone that your other children seem to know when labor is near and become extra needy and cuddly but at the time, I didn’t think about that. Joe gave us all dinner and we put Julian to bed.

I struggled to eat my whole dinner as I was still feeling a bit crampy. Joe and I were wanting to finish a show we had been watching, Ozark, and I think it was the last episode of the season. I remember pausing the show to go downstairs and change a load of laundry. During this time, I stopped in the basement to breathe through a “cramp”. You would think as a birth instructor this would have been a big sign to me but I was in denial remember.

I came up stairs and sat on my ball as that was the only position that was comfortable to me. I was smart enough to think that if this was really it, I should try and finish as much of my dinner as possible since it could be my last meal for a while. Midway though our show I got up and left saying nothing to Joe. I went to go to the bathroom but immediately felt the urge to get in the bath tub. I filled it up super warm and laid down and relaxed.

These cramps were not getting any better and still coming quite frequently so I figured I would call Melissa who had just been over earlier. As I was on the phone with her, I continued through my cramps and stopped talking as each one approached. I remember her saying “Ashley you keep breaking for a minute or so every couple of minutes, are these contractions you’re having?” I, still in denial, said no but maybe I don’t know. She told me to go ahead and call our doula over. The doula will be able to assess my situation and call the midwives if it is indeed time. Luckily both my doula and one of our midwives all lived in our neighborhood.

Lauren got there quickly and things had already really ramped up. This was it I was in full blown active labor and it didn’t hit me until IT HIT ME. I needed her so badly. These surges were not like Julian’s, they were intense, so strong, sharp, and radiated through my lower back and hips. I needed her hip squeezes, her presence, everything she could offer I wanted. She jumped into action getting out her rebozo scarf and immediately sinching my hips which gave me such relief. Joe was so thrown off by how quickly everything started he rushed to try and set up the birth pool (we had only received it a day or two before that).

Lauren had originally said she was going to wait an hour or so before deciding if we should call my midwives but within 20 minutes, she called them and told them to hurry. We also had a photographer we had hired and she needed to be called too.

I utilized all I knew from Hypnobirthing from when I used it the first time to all that I had learned since teaching it. I tried with all my might to breathe calmly but these surges were so intense. I found myself having to make noise through each one in order to stay somewhat relaxed. I also had very little time in between each surge. I remember with Julian I would have minutes, 2-5, in between my surges but not with you. These surges only allowed me about 30-60 seconds in between. I had hardly any time to catch my breathe or talk to anyone about my needs. All I could do was say “hip, hip squeeze please, now!” Those hip squeezes saved me. I also used affirmations in this birth which I didn’t utilize at all with Julian. My go tos to get me through those powerful, intense surges were, “you can do anything for 60 seconds” and “no surge is stronger than you because they are you.”

I also had to labor in polar bear position as this was the only way to relieve some of that back and hip pressure. I was polar bearing in my living room when I saw our photographer, Nina, show up. Immediately behind her was our other midwife, Eileen. They both arrived around midnight, baby was out by 1am.

I struggle to pee in labor and that issue caused me to hemorrhage my first birth so this time around I was very focused on making sure I peed. The midwives took me into our bathroom and tried to get me to sit on the toilet but because of how baby was on my pelvis that was a huge NO. So, I stood up in the shower and tried to pee.

I was in a lot of pain at this point. I felt like I had it all together for the last few hours but this hurt and I was losing focus. I couldn’t pee and these surges were on top of each other. I remember hearing the midwives and doula say behind me, “baby is posterior” and I knew what that meant. It scared me too because I know those babies take longer to birth and are much more painful to push. Eileen finally said to me from outside of the bathroom, “you’re going to need to turn your baby honey so hold your belly up over your pelvis bone.” I remembering thinking “this lady is crazy and that won’t work but I’ll do anything.”

I waited until the next surge and held my belly up and over my pelvis bone. I felt something shift and change and I wanted out of the shower. I realized later, after I birthed, that the change I felt was the baby flipping into vertex position from that belly hold. Joe was in the bathroom and helped me out of the tub. As soon as I got to the sink, I felt the urge to push and nothing was going to stop me. I held onto our bathroom sink and started pushing, hard. The midwives saw this and said I needed to get to our bed to deliver the baby.

As I started pushing, I felt a pop and a huge splash of water all over the bathroom and all over Joe. At first, I thought I finally peed but then realized my water had broken. I also realized with all that pushing I pooped a little too and that was also on Joe’s foot.

The midwives guided me to our bed and set up pillows for my head and arms. I once again got on all fours, just like with Julian, and pushed. I pushed three times and I felt this little baby head come out. These surges were fast so I didn’t have to wait very long to push the rest of my baby out.

It felt amazing to feel my body use its natural expulsive reflex to assist me with pushing the baby out. Our bodies are so incredible and as much as this was a painful labor, I love that I felt every part of my body work to get baby out.

Since I birthed on all fours, I had to turn around and move the umbilical cord out and around my legs. I still didn’t know who you were yet as everyone was quite about you and I still needed to see you. I remember your front was facing the midwives still so I yelled out “what is it!?” They turned you to me and a huge smile came over me because I knew all along that you were a girl. I was elated. I was hoping to have a girl. I would have loved a little brother for Julian too but I really did want to experience a daughter. We already knew your name and called you Jude immediately.

The placenta still had to be birthed and these surges were a little uncomfortable. I don’t recall how I felt birthing the placenta with Julian but that was probably because I was so tired. I actually got to see your placenta this time which was exciting for me because I love placentas. Your cord was gorgeous too. It was huge and very very thick.

I was starving and your daddy made me a PB and J per my request. I got up after and was able to help with all the newborn procedures. It was so fun and such a different experience from my first birth. You were born in six hours which was so fast for me but also a huge relief. I think labor had began with you that Thursday night I was up and uncomfortable but I did such a good job at staying in denial I didn’t notice until the surges hit me in the face.

You were born at 38 weeks and 5 days on a Saturday morning, April 18th at 1:06am. You were birthed on your parents’ bed, just like your big brother, in your home during a pandemic in the year 2020. I had hoped for a water birth since I had not been able to birth in the pool for Julian but you came so fast, we never got the pool up, sorry Joe.

This birth was truly wonderful for me as I felt so loved, so supported, and so safe. It made me realize the power in having a supportive team around you. A team that knows when to step in and when to leave. A team that taught my husband how to support me and how to do this as a family. I didn’t wake up the next day thinking about the painful surges or the moments I wasn’t sure I could go on. I thought about how incredible everyone in our home was and how safe I felt. I get teary now just thinking on it because it brings me so much joy.

I home birth because it works for me and my family but regardless of whether someone births at home or in the hospital or everywhere in between, every woman in labor deserves to feel this way after the birth of her baby. I’m grateful for the two birthing experiences I’ve had as it brings so much to my work, my passion, and how I go about teaching our students. I can only hope as more women and families come to this realization that we begin to hear positive birth stories. Stories that we can pass down through generations so that our daughters can birth in love, confidence, and the belief that their bodies were made to do this by God. Thank you, my sweet baby Jude, for showing me so much power that I didn’t know I had. Our lives are made so much fuller now that you are in it.”

Ashley owns Metro-Detroit Hypnobirthing and teaches at our Troy and Sterling Heights locations. If you want to feel supported and empowered in your birth start with a birth class. Hypnobirthing classes teach you just that and more. We offer in-person and virtual classes all over Metro-Detroit.

Ultra supported by both midwives and my doula

Surprised she’s a girl and so excited to hold her.

The Birth Story of Judith Kelly

Owner Ashley and her second hypnobirthed baby Jude